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Banging My Head Against the Same Brick Wall

I have this horrible, horrible feeling that I gained again this week. Honestly though? I shouldn’t be that surprised. I did eat boxes of Girl Scout cookies and more than my share of chocolate and candy.  

(I ate a box of Samoas yesterday afternoon after posting here. I felt sick most of the rest of the day. YEAH!!! Why am I happy about it? Because, it FINALLY learned me . . . er  . . . taught me. That and I’ve eaten whole boxes of cookies before and felt fine. Like last week sometime. Was it Monday? I don’t remember. Anyway.)

On the other hand, while I didn’t exercise every day, I did exercise 4 days out of the week. That’s an improvement. Since starting Curves I went from nothing to 2 days a week (because it kept snowing on Saturdays and they were closed) to 3 days a week. This past week I made it to 4. Ideally I’d be exercising 6, with a day off on Monday.

I’m afraid I’m battling my perfectionist side that is upset with me because I didn’t make 6 and have yet to make it 6 days a week. However, I can’t let go of that too much, because then my slob side will take over. Eeehhh . . . you exercised last week, why today? Do it tomorrow!
It’s just a matter of balance. The same thing with my eating. Especially when it comes to my eating, I tend to be an all or nothing sort of person. Moderation is not something I’m really good at. At least when it comes to food (or spending money, but that’s another post for another day. Possibly a guest post from my Italian? He can tell you ALL about it!! Poor man . . . )

A loss this week would be nice, a gain would be devastating. I have been bouncing between 210 and 205 for the past 6 months. I’m getting tired of it, and would really like to simply shed the weight. Frankly, I feel like I’m banging my head against the same spot on the same damn wall and not getting anywhere! It’s getting tiresome.

Or is it that I’ve not been real serious about it since September? That I keep letting life get in the way. The loss of “Buh” in September, the holidays, then my Italian’s ankle surgery and subsequent stay at the hospital for in-patient rehabilitation? Maybe now that it’s all behind me I can get serious . . . again . . . about this weight loss thing.

Or am I being too hard on myself?

I’m just tired of being 200+ pounds!

Sorry this post is so negative. My food today’s been not so bad . . . More on that later today. 

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Discussion

One thought on “Banging My Head Against the Same Brick Wall

  1. I'm with ya! I can't seem to break that 200 lb barrier. I don't know what will make me motivated enough to be really careful to get to 199. I just want to be there mentally, but physically am not putting in the effort. You are on the right track (well, except for the cookies, but we move on). I wish you the best.

    Posted by Rosa | March 16, 2010, 3:21 pm

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